Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Hunter Thompson would be proud

Some nights it's vicodin. Some nights it's beer. The key to avoiding addiction is to rotate your mind-altering substances often.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

heeeeere's Johnny

If you find yourself gifted with the enthusiastic rejection of all things food and fluid, resulting in the sudden cessation of SSRI medications and then the sudden resumption of said SSRIs more than a week later, you too can look forward to a cornucopia of surprises, such as:

  • nausea
  • blurred vision
  • panic attacks
  • dizziness
  • loss of balance

Now with new and improved metallic taste! Can you stand the excitement?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

garden porn

Two weeks into hormone therapy, four days into puking and crying. Dammit, if Saltines and ginger ale are going to make me puke, and I need to eat something, it might as well be good. Blue, red, and Idaho potatoes mashed with the skins on, diced rainbow chard and beet greens, diced bacon, and minced garlic. All mushed together with real butter and milk, salt, pepper, and garlic salt. Super pretty and crazy tasty. Everything but the dairy and bacon came out of our front yard garden. I'm going to be puking in style.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

the tortoise and I are one

It's taken me five hours, but I've gotten two loads of laundry done and half the delivered groceries put away. VICTORY!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

fibro games

There are a ton of games you can play with a chronic pain syndrome. Today's game is Where Did THAT Come From? It goes like this:

1. Wake up in the morning. (Or afternoon. Your call.)
2. Roll a 1D20 (also known as a 20-sided die to the uninitiated).
3. Compare to symptoms chart to figure out if you're going to get out of bed today.
4. Roll again.
5. Compare to symptoms chart to figure out if you're going to puke today and how many times.
6. Roll again.
7. Compare to symptoms chart to figure out if you're going to pass a field sobriety test today.
8. Roll again. Repeat as many times as you like or until you decide to yield to the whim of the universe and cancel any plans and ambitions for the day.

The highlight of my game was the random and unexpected dizziness that had me lurching all over the house like the best drunks do. Forget about a field sobriety test. The walls were dancing! People PAY to impose that effect on their brain. Bet they're jealous.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

cranky with a side of bitter

Time change. Throwing a little extra zip into the daily pile of medications.

...If I don't screw this transition up, it'll be a miracle.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

cryptic wasn't one of my goals

So that last post didn't quite carry through as intended. I missed on explaining the middle step.

It's an unfortunately real commentary on how fast fibro symptoms can change. At this point, I'm caught in a spiral that usually leads to an ER trip -- pain levels get too high, I start to throw up from pain, I can't keep my maintenance meds down, I get dehydrated, and then I end up in the ER getting an IV for fluids and to get meds back in my system quickly.

It's frustrating to go from the "real life" goals to the "I'm a patient" goals in the span of an hour or two. I feel like I'm living a double life. I don't need a reminder that my body has a hitch in its functioning. I get that every day. But I get the swift kick version of a reminder multiple times a year anyway. Today's one of those days.