Thursday, June 2, 2011

you're fired

Dear saleslady,

You rocked it today, giving me a hand with road-testing the wheelchair and making pleasant conversation -- right up until you asked me what was wrong with me. It's so nice to know that a friend of yours had fibromyalgia and that she cured herself through sheer willpower because, you know, she's a "feisty lady." Gee, if I'd only known that the Power of Positive Thinking[tm] is all it takes to cure this beast invading my brain, spinal cord, fascia, nerves, muscles, and organs, well hell, I'd have been dancing in the streets years ago!

I could give you my moment of sheer rage. I could give you my feeling of inferiority for not being able to just will myself to health by being THAT KEWL. I could give you my resentment of your uninformed snap judgments and smug confidence based on genetic luck of the draw. But you'd have to try a lot harder to earn those. Sorry lady, your opinion just isn't worth that much.

You get this and that's it. These five minutes of posting time. Oh, and a big pair of hairy donkey balls. Go suck on 'em.

Chronic Pain Wizard


  1. Bitch. I really don't like people like that.

  2. HUGS to you!!! I can totally relate. I had a similar moment when a "stranger" asked me why I use canes, I said I have PsA, and she told me all I needed to do was change my diet. Thanks, lady, but I've eliminated everything except water. And if water is causing my PsA, then, well, I guess I'm totally screwed.
    Please pass the hairy donkey balls when you're done with your concerned citizen so I can serve 'em up to mine!

  3. Well golly gee, why don't you just put on a smile there and your medical condition will just magically *poof!* away! Just smile harder!!!eleventy!11!

    Asshattery at its finest, that is. You are so much more than THAT KEWL. She doesn't even deserve those donkey balls.

  4. I would have said what is wrong with you? I didn't realize you had a license to practice medicine and psychology. lucky me to get such an over qualified wheelchair sales person. now get off your holier than thou soapbox shut the f up and do your job. because lady I don't need your cup of shit served up as help.

    and I have had so many people talk to me about parking in hp spaces. the you know you don't look hp. really you don't look stupid but looks can be deceiving, usually shuts them up.
    The whole you know what I would rather not have to park here I would love to be able to hike and play tennis and run around with my kids again. my life would be so much more satisfying but here I am parking in hp parking. some days being so exhausted from daily routine that by the time I make it to the store I can't get out of the car to make it inside to get what I need. or when I get home I have to sit in my car unable to make it up the stairs to my apartment.
    but thanks for your concern. asshat.

  5. Um, I love this. I love when people know people who have been cured by asparagus or accupuncture. And then they think you can be cured too!

    Thanks for the laugh. Also, I'm a new follower :)